Living Presently in the Age of Social Media
I’m constantly getting after my kids for being on their electronics. I get a pang of quilt that flows through me everytime I realize they’ve had far too much screen time.
Because I’m guilty of it.
It feels necessary, especially for someone like me, starting up their own business and in need of outreach and marketing schemes. How do I get more followers? How do I get my products and services out there? How do I actually make a living doing what I love? It takes hour and hours of time on my phone or on my computer.
The summer is the worst. The kids are out of school; they need entertainment; they need distraction — so that I can get my work done. And its not like it was when I was a kid. I can’t just send them outdoors and let them run wild in the neighborhood — and kids (because of all the screen time) don’t know how to be bored anymore. When they dont know what to do with themselves, they get into trouble. They fight or make a mess or worse.
I want to be an example.
A good example.
Even when we didnt have cell-phones and everything that comes with them, it was hard to be present. I can remember, even in the late 1980’s, my mother struggling with it. She would hustling around everywhere trying to get three things done all at once and you could barely get her to look at you. The stress of life and our long to-do lists often feel too important to be distracted by something like ‘being present”.
Until we realize we’re missing it all.
We’re missing our children’s youth — the years flying by without us ever being fully aware and in the moment for precious experiences that we will never get back.
And then we feel guilty for that too.
So, the first step is to give yourself some grace. Give yourself a little understanding and know that the love within you is still there — not going anywhere.
The second step is owning your awareness. Being willing to witness it all and pay attention to how you are letting shameful fearful thoughts run rampant upon your mind.
Awareness is Key
Just like with everything else I have learned so far in this life — transformation requires awareness.
Slowing down is a must, slowing down to reflect, slowing down to pay attention, slowing down to be present. For this, I’ve found too things: journaling and meditation.
Something that I learned from Guy Hendricks in his book, The Big Leap, is that not only do we have control of our time, but we are time. Telling ourselves that we don’t have time is a load of old tosh. You make time for what you prioritize and if you really want to make something happen — you will.
It all comes down to this:
Who are you? What kind of person do you want to be? You get to decide.
I recommend a journal where you can write this all down and then read it back to yourself. Make it clear and imprinted on your mind. A clear intention will manifest.
Looking for support with this? Check out my website at jessafrances.net.
If you want to be present, if you want to take the time to be fully in the moment for your life as you live it, then take the time to meditate in the mornings and set your intention for the day. When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed and unconscious— reign yourself back in.
A lot of people think that meditation is about stopping your thoughts. It’s not. It’s about gaining the ability to adjust them. It’s about moving your thoughts into the direction that you want them to go.
I call my practice, meditative manifestation. It just makes more sense to me.
You dont have to be in some gorgeous setting. You don’t need music, or darkness, or anything other than stillness and willingness to slow down, breathe, and open your mind to visualize better things for yourself.
I’ve had clients talk about how they’ve read tons of self-help and self-improvement books only to end up feeling even worse about themselves. Well, meditation, done properly, does the exact opposite. It leads you toward self-love.
Love Yourself and Embrace Your Truth
Life will never make sense if you can’t honor yourself. That’s where it all starts. If you want to improve your life in almost anyway, you must learn to love and trust in your inner-guide, in the loving light within.
We are often so caught up in negative self-talk, trying to humble ourselves and fit in that we forget to check in internally with what we know and feel is right for ourselves. We forget about loving and honoring ourselves as we go around caught up completely by our ego.
When I say ego, I’m not talking about vain thoughts or overly confident wants. I am talking about the typically in-charge concious mind that talks over the top of everything else. It’s a hard one to separate, but it’s necessary when hoping to get out of our own way and live fully.
This is another phenomenal reason to journal and meditate. Separate yourself out from your ego, tap into the unconscious, and connect with the truth of yourself, your wants, and your desires so you can build a present, happy, and fulfilled life that honors you.
If you are looking to try and spent less time on your phone and be more connected to the world around you, it’s really pretty simple.
Decide that you don’t want to be on your phone all the time. Decide that you are not the kind of person that gets caught up in social media. Decide that you are someone who is present and mindful and here for the moment.
Separate out time for your content, for your work, but remember that instead of doing, just BE.
If you show up everyday as your fullest, most honest self, you will see that it is much easier to own your habits, to pay closer attention to what is good for you and what isn’t.
